When I was young my hair was never
Fashioned, in style, a trend
It was functional and full some
Just a pure means to an end

In winter it kept my head warm
Stopped the summer sun from burning
I never saw its benefits
Till the tide of change was turning

The forehead first expanded
Hair retreating from my eyes
But I never knew the top had gone
Till a video surprise

When walking into Tesco
On the screens so clearly seen
With the camera trained on top, behind
There was skin where hair had been

I started dumping taller friends
Who saw me from on high
But at five foot six it was clear that I'd
Be quite a lonely guy

They say it means I'm virile
More manlike and much stronger
But all it seems to mean to me
Is shampoo lasts me longer

So what to do from here on in?
I must deal with my fate
I have found a fine solution
I now think that hats are great